Posted by 10derHeart on September 22, 2005, at 12:48:57
In reply to Re: My T. is Too Important To Me » 10derHeart, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 19:32:42
> I'm with everyone else 10der, you've had a lifetime to build these feelings, and at least 11 years to feel better. I'd relax and enjoy the relationship. The hard part, like you said,is the time in between appts. and vacation.
That's true, about the lifetime thing. Sometimes it's easy to forget...and to want so many things to make sense *now* and for that to lead to fixing something *now*...but I guess that's just not possible. But I know for me, it's very easy to just cruise along, relaxing and enjoying the relationship as you said (nothing inherently wrong with that, but...)and wake up one day, say after, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year of therapy having had a lot of relief and comfort, but, still staying stuck in so many ways...does that make sense? I try to explain this sensation to my T., so he knows I want to be pushed *most* of the time. He's very nondirective and will agree to working about as much or as little as I want....and that "hands-off" attitude - though gentle and safe - can sabotage me sometimes, to where we're getting little done.
Vacations haven't been bad. He's taken 2 short ones before this, but still answered emails, and made a point of telling me to email him as much as I want. So, I've never had to experience the aloneness I went through all the time w/prior T., and I don't get feeling as badly as most anyone on these boards, because I know he'll answer any email, even when he's at home...I am so blessed. Yet, I think all this contact increases attachment and/or dependence, and it's scarier still....around in a circle I go...:-)
thanks, fw - hope you talk to your T. soon and tell him how upset you've been and feel better! (((fw)))
poster:10derHeart
thread:557332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/558139.html