Posted by alexandra_k on September 22, 2018, at 22:12:35
In reply to Re: Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2018, at 16:56:00
> i just... my concern is for the little old lady in the corner getting screwed out of her retirement fund.
though i don't know why my concern should be that way. i should be concerned about the little old lady in the corner getting people to run around after her constantly because they believe it will end up paying them dividends...and mostly, there's a bunch of people playing with screwing each other over, and you just gotta get away from them, as best you can.
they say 'don't do a degree in arts - do arts as your hobby' and by employing people who will not work / who will not work quickly for the arts they make sure that people employed in the arts never are allowed to do more than people who have a hobby interest can do on their weekends.
there is a tragedy of commons aspect to here...
and it isn't about the rich people and their rich kids... it really isn't.
those who are of greatest concern are those with nothing to lose. there really are groups of people about who have had minimal competent supervision *their whole lives* who are ruled by the biggest bully.
and the biggest bully is always on the look out for ready victims.
and there really is a very genuine sense in which you simply gotta learn to keep your head down in these parts. because you got people who have devoted their lives to ruling with an iron fist and you just gotta try not be targeted by them. so a sense in portraying you are part of some larger herd who will protect you (whether or not that's true).
even swimming... you can't just go and do your own thing in your own lane... someone will notice you and freak out about that. *most especially* if you want to work hard at it / get good at it you simply got to do that as part of a pod of people so you don't stand out from your pod in any way...
i am genuinly fearful that they will fail me this degree because i haven't sucked up to them in the way they consider appropriate... because they believe they can fail me... i don't trust their professionalism. which, i guess, is why it is that i do not want to join them. i don't want to live insecurely huddled where my prime task is pandering to them in some petty politics. i want to be in a setting where i feel secure that people will be able to identify and will routinely choose to acknowledge and ultimately reward... doing the f*ck*ng job.
it's a long way to there. and i guess this is why people have revulsion towards starting over. i think starting over is okay. the problem is getting other people to let you get started. people haven't let me get started here. awful people. they *choose* to be.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1100843
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20180816/msgs/1101004.html