Posted by kalyb on June 25, 2003, at 16:12:49
In reply to Thanks kaly, posted by kara lynne on June 25, 2003, at 15:04:28
> I hope things are better for you where you are living as well.
Thanks... seem to be better after the weekend outburst. Someone mentioned to me today that women with young babies (hers is 5 months) can behave very irrationally sometimes, so who knows, maybe that's part of it~?
> Please forgive me, could you tell me again the title of the first book you recommended--I won't double-double quote it, since my last attempt didn't work! It *is* a UK book, so may not be on Amazon.com anyway.
It is:
Overcoming Low Self Esteem, by Melanie Fennell.The one I mentioned in my last post linked to the wrong book. Just in case you have doubt, it's The Path To Love, by Deepak Chopra. A lovely, gentle book!
>and please give me your email address again. Everything I own or have written down is lost, in shambles or in boxes.
That's okay, I understand!
Try kalyb at onetel dotcom> I have to go out and get nails to batten down the screens so my scared little bunny-kitty doesn't hop away. She gives me a little purpose, anyway.
awww... she sounds sweet. If she hops, is she a Manx?
> I'm trying to tell myself all things I want to hear from other people: I did the right thing, I won't feel this way forever, I am ok, I am not wrong and worthless and hopeless. I don't really want to die. But I don't believe me.
Then would it help to hear it from someone else...?
* You did a great thing, not only a right thing.
* You are okay, and things will become okay-er.
* No way are you wrong! :) No-one is wrong. In the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness. (That's a quote from a book).
* Worthless? You were with someone who made you feel that way, and that was only his warped opinion! Let yourself feel yourself, let your own opinion develop, because as the memory of his hateful words fade, so grows your own confidence and sense of self. A good self.
* I don't think you want to die. I think you'd like a small part of yourself to die, but not the whole. Like a slightly bruised apple, the rest of you is still so sweet. Bunny-kitty needs you, too. I know how important loved companion animals can be.
* For now, you don't have to believe you completely. Just trust, if you can, that things will pass and things will become peaceful for you.> So my mind turns to useful things once more--imagining him in this new house I could have moved into with him if we had just held out a week or two more without the blowup. All the parties he'll have, everything I held him back from. The phantom woman who will slide into the picture and be everything I am not. I have such an elaborate self torturing method. I'm not proud of it--I feel like I'm churning in death throes. I wish it was the death throes of that pattern.
I know that torture so well... but he will reap what he sows.... how can he expect to become a three-dimensional person in his world as it is now?
> I feel like I've run a one woman marathon and slid exhausted and panting to the finish line. But for no reason--agony of de feet.
>
> Thanks for listening, thanks for hugging.You're welcome.. I just hope and trust what I write helps....
The Path To Love has some sayings at the back, and I'll choose one for you - (It's going to be hard to choose just one!!)
Growth is the willingness to let reality be new every moment.
Negativity is born in the gap where love has been excluded.
Love dances in the freshness of the unknown.
(See, I told you it would be hard to pick just one!!!)
More hugs,
Kalyb xx
poster:kalyb
thread:236377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/236998.html