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Re: No, you're not.

Posted by kara lynne on June 25, 2003, at 0:34:03

In reply to Re: No, you're not. » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on June 24, 2003, at 22:20:50

Hi dinah,
What you said doesn't scare or depress me. I'm prepared at this point not to pass, even though I won't like it. What worries me more is that I don't have the drive to do anything the test pertains to. I really hate to admit it, but school, career...it's all secondary to me. I don't identify with it. While my ex boyfriend existed only in relationship to his work, I was existing first (ugh) for the relationship.

I went to school and pursued a career because I had to. I don't dislike it, but I can certainly muster no passion for it at the moment. I was taking this particular exam, (national licensing) primarily for him--I don't think I would have considered moving or practicing out of state had I not been with him. His work takes him all over (yet another problem--my reticence to travel) and I wanted to have that option. It's not a bad thing to have, but he was a big motivator in my decision.

I sure wish I could stop thinking about him, wondering about him, torturing myself with thoughts about the kind of woman he might date next.

I know he couldn't have saved me, no relationship can. I don't know what I was hoping for--maybe that we could help each other become better people. But I never expected that it would actually rob me of myself even more, and leave me feeling so worthless. More worthless than ever.

Do you think a person can be successfully reprogrammed? Like NLP or EMDR or whatever that is?

I wouldn't even take the test, but it is $950 non redeemable dollars.


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