Posted by giget on July 2, 2003, at 6:55:34
In reply to Re: Kara how are you fending?, posted by kara lynne on July 1, 2003, at 17:40:51
I really don't know if an intense therapist will help... from my situation it would not have. Your ex is the way he is and that will never change. Sure they change for a day or a week, but the true person always shows through, the person you left that day. The person who puts you down.
Email wars are not fun, I have been there remember? I realized that it is a way of still having contact with him, even if it is just fighting. You still have something to hang on to. It keeps your mind on the relationship more than not, always knowing there is an email in the box.... You need to let go and just send the email back, "I am blocking your email address" I have tried to block an email address before but the work email does not allow it. I know that most internet email you can block the sender.... I know it is hard, and I am only telling you what I did or wanted to do at the time....
Hope you are feeling better... What state or area do you live in? See here in MIchigan it is hard to deal with the seasons, and I live in a very conservative city... no one understands and they just ignor the problem. You know the thought.... Don't make eye contact and they are not really there!
That is why I need a new job in a new state! Anyone have suggestions on CA or AZ jobs? or how to even find some?
> Hi giget,
> How nice to scroll down and see your post. Thank you for asking; I have not found another apt. yet, but I'm going to really step up the search. It's so exhausting.
>
> The ex and I are ensconced in email wars--I don't seem to have the discipline not to engage. You would be amazed at how many different ways there are to say, "It's your fault."
> He starts to apologize but always ends up by telling me how I caused (fill in the blank). I am trying to tell him I want to be more than an ultimatum to somebody and he tells me how he was really just about to love me, but I was just too darn demanding. That pesky idea of marriage after five years, you know? Some nerve I have. Apparently he wanted to marry me, but for some reason I never knew about it.
>
> His latest suggestion was that we see a "fairly intense psychiatrist" with a more "rigorous" approach than the lightweight counseling we had (and that was like pulling teeth). I must admit it was tempting at first; the promise of it working out, or the idea that he may really want it to. But I thought it through and didn't foresee anything positive coming from it. This is where we are after five years, do you think a fairly intense psychiatrist with a rigorous approach could fix us?
>
> Thanks for letting me get this out. Thanks for checking. How are you doing? I am going to go read your posts below and find out!
poster:giget
thread:236377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238687.html