Posted by kara lynne on June 26, 2003, at 19:29:18
In reply to Kara... about my past, posted by giget on June 26, 2003, at 14:28:30
Yeah, you gotta watch out for those email wars. We already began one, but I asked that we stop it at least until after my exam. (not that I want to resume warring).
It's so hard when you want to redeem yourself--but I have to remind myself there will never be any redemption in his eyes. It is truly an exercise in futility. I don't know why that drive is so strong--to go to the one person who refuses to acknowledge you and desperately seek acknowledgement.
I'm so glad you finally put a stop to it. How long has it been since the actual break up? I know you said you hung on for two years, but has it been two years since then? And how hard it must be to work so close to him!!
Well I hate to belabor it, but this grieving process is so elusive. What exactly are you supposed to do? How do you know when you're done? How does your therapist know that you're not? You don't have to answer, I'm just rhetorically wondering. I guess I wonder if *you* feel like you have grieved.
Yesterday I felt like my guts had been ripped out. Everywhere I went I cried. Is that grief? I'm sure we are grieving for more than the men--like you say, for the dream, for lost parts of ourselves. Frankly I don't see how I could function and feel that much grief all the time. I don't think we're designed to. I guess it comes in pockets.
well apt. hunting was dismal. It's amazing how people forget to tell you things like the apt. is over a dump, or a construction site where they're building high rises.
Better luck next time, eh? Thanks for writing, I appreciate it.
poster:kara lynne
thread:236377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237334.html