Posted by Tamar on April 20, 2005, at 5:52:06
In reply to Re: Sex again. Sigh. » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on April 18, 2005, at 9:19:01
> That you said about familiarity of sexual contact being distressing, that's true for me. Because I want my body to please, but I'm not sure it does, not at all, and that's not even supposed to be an issue. I can't go to bed with someone who's unfamiliar to me, either, that's even more uncomfortable. And immensely unsatisfying. I learned that in my younger years. I think for men and women both there's a lot more to sex than just getting off. I was doing some reading last night and suddenly remembered this man I was with, I remember, through my reading, because my mind seems to have blocked it out without a stimulus, but I remembered that he gave me my one and only orgasm with a man, and I remember that he was very attentive, very much so, very caring, it was almost like he put a spell on me, a spell wherein I felt completely safe, completely cared for, in my body yet out of it at the same time, and it was incredible, it really was like a spell. There was so much trust. And something awful, really terrible happened to this relationship. Very quickly after that things went very very bad. And he turned out to be selfish and mean... so is there hope that I can ever sustain something like that IRL again? I don't know.
Well, I suppose you know that it is possible to have an orgasm with a man. That seems worth knowing! And not only that, but trust as well. Maybe there has to be trust for the orgasm thing to work, but trust alone isn't the key. You mentioned safety and I think that's very important too. It's all so incredibly complicated!