Posted by Spriggy on April 5, 2005, at 11:28:17
In reply to Re: Sex again. Sigh. (possible trigger) » Dinah, posted by TofuEmmy on March 29, 2005, at 12:29:04
I've been married almost 7 years and although I have nothing but admiration, respect, and love for my husband since I began this "depression/anxiety" phase of my life, my libido/ desire is TOTALLY gone.
BUT, I realize something with my husband... it's not just a "physical" need for him. It really is an emotional/connection for him to me.
I think of it this way:
Women need to be close to have sex,
men HAVE sex to feel close.My husband is very sensitive and has been very caring/compassionate to me during this time and has often put his sexual needs aside. BUT, there are times when it is just something HE has to have; like food or water (for my man at least!).
I try to think of it as his way of connecting with me and feeling LOVED BY me. I feel his love by the way he hugs me, affirms me with his words, helps out around the house.. REally and truly, the one way he responds to my love for him, is through intimacy.
SOOO... without being too specific (wink), when there are times he has his needs but I don't feel up to it- I just use "other" methods without intercourse to allow him to feel that connection.
If you need more details, you can babblemail me or call 1-800-hotmomma. LOL
Just know I get where you are it.. I understand it's a tough thing to overcome. I've had a life long issue with overcoming sexual abuse and past very unhealthy sexual relationships (from my teen years). It's not something that happens overnight.
It's a battle I fight sometimes daily, but I believe it's a battle that can be won.
((HUGS)) (but don't worry-- no kisses!). *wink
poster:Spriggy
thread:474222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/480159.html