Posted by annierose on April 21, 2005, at 20:02:59
In reply to Re: Sex again. Sigh. » Dinah, posted by Tamar on April 20, 2005, at 5:56:22
Tamar and Dinah -
I can relate to both of your stories. I am conflicted re:sex too. On the one hand, I do enjoy sex, but I have an aversion to it as well. We do not have sex as often as my husband would like, and I have a difficult time agreeing to it, even though, on one level, I do like it.
I just don't get why I'm so conflicted. No CSA of any kind. I really wish my longing for sex = my desire to actual have it. At best, I talk myself into it and once it's underway, I'm usually okay enough to enjoy it. In fact, there's this wildness in me that my husband would be so suprised to discover, but she is fairly well hidden right now.
I have talked about this in therapy. Interesting enough, I told her my conflicted feelings are similar to therapy. I like going to therapy, but once I'm there, it's painful and I'm irritated. But I wish I could enjoy the experience more. Does that make sense?
After reading this thread, I realize I haven't brought sex up recently in therapy, and maybe we should revisit the topic. Sometimes it makes it worse. Those icky feelings being brought to the surface don't go away, even with a glass of wine. My husband loves to kiss me in the morning and wrap his arms around me all the time, and I recoil inside myself (he is fairly unaware).
Thanks for sharing.
If you feel like sharing your story Tamar, I would like to read it. Thank you