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Dependency - Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on April 18, 2003, at 7:55:38

Ouch, that must really hurt! Years of a good relationship changed because of one action...

You really have my sympathies. I'm always afraid my therapist will say that I'm too dependant. So far his attitude is that it means therapy is working, and I'll grow past it. But I'm afraid that one day he'll think it's past time I grew.

I just wanted to send some warm thoughts your way. I think I know how much you must be hurting.

*********

Dinah,

Your thoughts are very appreciated.

This is the worst I have ever felt. I saw my pdoc yesterday (they work in the same office) and he is available for me to talk to about the situation with my therapist. Problem was that as I started to talk about it the agony really hit me. I guess I bury most of it pretty deeply most of the time. I see him again in 2 weeks (and not because my meds need tweeking). I am trying hard to work through the issues with her, but for the first time in 8 years she doesn't seem to understand a lot of what I'm trying to say. I want to know if she is different or if I am different, but I haven't figured out how to determine that yet. At this point I feel hopeless about everything in my life, including therapy.

There are different degrees of dependence. You are right that some dependence is good in a therapy relationship. I guess that I can tell that I'm in trouble because therapy is more important to me than anything else in my life. I know that she is giving me something that I didn't get growing up, and I need that so desperately. If you can keep therapy in perspective, then you are doing OK.

In the meantime, everytime I see a friend I insist on getting a hug.

 

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