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Re: Forever therapy fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2003, at 8:17:30

In reply to Re: Forever therapy Dinah, posted by fallsfall on April 21, 2003, at 7:20:41

Chuckle. He definitely does have openings, and the more cynical side of me wonders about my steady income and his attitude.

He does see the danger of too much dependency, not as much as I would like, but he does. And he both does and doesn't think it's healthy. He thinks it's very healthy as a stage in someone who doesn't trust easily. Not so healthy if it continues indefinitely. After a few disastrous attempts to convey that to me, we've agreed on this "It's okay for me to alwyas feel safe with him, but he hopes that I will also have other ways of making myself feel safe."

I must confess that before I broached the subject with him, when it was still just an internal fear corroding our therapy, I did tons of research on supportive therapy. When it was indicated, how it was conducted, etc. Then when the time was right and he brought up "growth", I brought up seeing therapy as insulin to a diabetic, and thought of therapy as a lifelong adjunct to meds to control a lifelong condition. I asked him if growth was necessary or if just not getting worse was a worthwhile goal. We agreed that not getting worse was a fine goal, so long as growth was also a goal.

The funny thing was that once that fear was removed, and my overwhelming fear of abandonment was thus assuaged, progress started happening. And continues to happen. Our therapy was able to move forward into other issues rather than just percolating on abandonment fears (altho they crop up and we have to go back and work on them from time to time). I don't *feel* better yet for this new work, and sometimes I feel less stable overall. And he's quit expressing his frustration that he doesn't seem able to help me, or as your therapist said, that he is doing all the work.

How does your therapist feel about supportive therapy. Is it just the frequency of sessions that concerns her? Won't that wax and wane with what's going on in therapy and in the rest of your life. It sounds as if you've had some trauma lately. Two friends attempting suicide? A separation from your husband? I'm going twice a week now, which seems to allow us to wade into deeper therapeutic waters than once a week. But I certainly hope I won't always be going twice a week.

Do you feel like you can transfer the transference if need be to another therapist? There are several of us here in long term therapy so it can't be that all therapists are opposed. There's my problem. Even if I can obtain therapy for the rest of my life, I don't see that as useful. I do want forever therapy. :) He's the second therapist I've had, but the first I really did therapy with, and I'm somehow convinced that he's magic. :))




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