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Re: Forever therapy

Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2003, at 12:01:09

In reply to Re: Forever therapy Dinah, posted by fallsfall on April 21, 2003, at 10:22:03

You know, what you did was not so terrible. It wasn't the wisest choice and I wouldn't suggest you do it again, but you didn't hurt anyone. Have you ever read "In Session: The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists" by Deborah Lott? Similar things aren't all that uncommon.

And to be angry with you for making the right choice the second time it came up wasn't fair. You chose not to go there again, and she should have been pleased with you. I *know* looking up our therapists/pdocs/etc. on google isn't a sin.

There was a woman who posted here a while back who had found out her therapist's address and driven by her house. The therapist was really mad at her about it. I asked my therapist about it at the time. I know he was wondering if I had asked because I had done it (I hadn't). But he said that it was perfectly normal for people who are feeling distressed and who are attached to their therapists to want some further connection with them. To want to know what they are like, where they live, etc. He said that although he wouldn't be pleased about it, he wouldn't be angry either if all she did was drive by his house.

I don't know. I do think that it was wise of you not to do what you did the first time, put her on your friends list and all. But I think maybe she should give you some credit for that... And for being honest with you. That couldn't have been easy for you.

I understand why therapists would be uneasy about their personal information and their personal lives. But I liked my therapist's understanding and matter of fact attitude about why a patient might do it.

I'm fortunate in that I don't want anything from him outside of therapy (and in fact ran like a startled hare when I accidentally heard him in a bookstore once). And I understand the desire for a photo too, although I barely remember what my therapist looks like and a photo would be no use to me. He made a relaxation tape for me though, as a link to him when he wasn't around. And I call his answering machine sometimes just to hear his voice and feel connected. He knows and is completely ok with that, even encourages it.




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