Posted by Ilene on July 14, 2003, at 13:14:57
In reply to Re: Forever therapy » Ilene, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 12:25:39
> She took appropriate measures with everything except her email address. I found the rest because I was creative and unrelenting.
Do tell.
>
> > I'm beginning to wonder if psychotherapy is a good idea. (I've never gotten much out of it.) Seems like many people become *more* dependent rather than less.
> >
> Personally, I was dependent to begin with. But I would say, after 8 1/2 years I am not less dependent.
>
I've come to realize that constant venting doesn't do me much good. I go over the same misery again and again and again and again ....doesn't go away.
> >
> No clue! I could never be a therapist - I don't know what "normal" is...Neither do I. It's a major problem. I have a number of conditions I didn't know were abnormal for decades.
>
>
>My previous therapist was CBT, so I could see her suggesting affirmations. I learned some good skills from her. My new therapist is Psychodynamic (I don't think he'll suggest affirmations). I intellectualize everything. I'm hoping he can get below the intellectual level and that changes can take place that way.What's wrong with intellect? I used to feel defective because of it. Now I recognize my intellect is one of my greatest assets--which is why it pains me when I feel my IQ descending. Not that intelligence has given me a job or anything, but it helps me figure things out.
I used to be able to use self-taught CBT techniques, but I can't anymore. It's like the Dark Side is too strong. Besides, I am bitter about having lost most of my life to severe depression and anxiety. I'm almost 50, and I now recognized I've suffered since I was a small child. "I coulda been a contenda"
And how do you go "below the intellectual level"? Channel the limbic system and unlease your id upon the world? is this another way of blaming the victim?
On the other hand, my emotions are completely out of hand. I also feel like my body and my mind are becoming less and less engaged with each other. I can see it happening, but I haven't found a way to stop it.
I pose a conundrum to my pdoc/therapist. It's a rather strange relationship. I do the diagnosis, she does the prescribing. I should go back to school and get a degree in neuropsychophysiology, if there is such a thing. (Like it would be any more useful than my other degrees.)
She's finally convinced my to see another pdoc. I hate seeing new doctors because they are usually dismissive of my self-take. I get so anxious and defensive that I blow the whole thing.
At least the sweet and patient Dr. R. doesn't get all freaked out when I send her articles that contradict her diagnoses. I think I may have convinced her that DSM-IV is not the Bible.
Rant stoppage.
Each of us is alone in the world.
Ilene
poster:Ilene
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/241756.html