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Re: Mair

Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2002, at 22:16:24

In reply to Re: ahhhhhhhhhhh » Dinah, posted by Mair on January 27, 2002, at 20:40:07

I know what you mean, Mair. My therapist always asked me what caused my mood to change. And it always irritated me. When I recently brought in my "new" diagnosis of cyclothemia, he finally agreed to ask once and then accept my answer of "nothing in particular."
He is also one of those cerebral dispassionate therapists, which suits me just fine. The "warm" therapists tend to make me withdraw. But I'm pretty good at being direct about what I need and he's pretty good about accepting it. So I tell him that what I need is to have a chance to actually experience what I am feeling instead of watching myself feel it. And he tells me that he appreciates me making myself open and vulnerable, or something along those lines. It is really the most valuable service he provides to me, and it is the reason I am so dependent on him. So just a suggestion, but can you tell your therapist that you want to try to be open and vulnerable with her, totally present with her, or something like that? And that the twenty questions can wait till another time?
Of course, talking through the ruminations can also be valuable. I always think of it as trying to remove the knots from the twisted coil of my thoughts. We gently unknot, it twists again, we gently straighten it again and coax it into a slightly straighter line.
Of course, I'm pretty sure the goal of my therapy has to do with connecting to my emotions more and intellectualizing less. And there is certainly a supportive therapy component to it. Your therapy is perhaps more directive and CBT based? So take the above advice for what it's worth. I know that you and your therapist have a good working relationship and you'll work it all out.
Take care of yourself.
Dinah

 

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