Posted by mair on January 29, 2002, at 15:48:35
In reply to Re: ahhhhhhhhhhh, posted by wendy b. on January 28, 2002, at 23:26:38
> Sar - I'm sure there are parts of wendy's post that are hard to take - certainly the drinking stuff. I've always been a little too afraid of alienating you to say much about it. On the other hand, I probably worry about you more than I do any other person on this Board because you seem to devalue yourself so much (particularly in relation to your very obvious strengths) and because you don't seem to have much of a support group or safety net. You don't have to "be" anything for us - we all know how great you are. I've never known anyone who drank too much and felt good about it. I've got to believe that alchohol is a form of self medication for you and unfortunately one that cuts you off from meds that could be far more effective. I think I said before that what I wished for you more than anything would be that you appreciate/value yourself as much as we value you. I know most of us suffer in the self esteem department, but the troubles you have owning up to your own vulnerabilities seem to stand in the way of you really addressing them.
Wasn't there some goofy expression like "Dare to be Me."?
BTW I spent 2 hours with my therapist today. That in and of itself should tell you that I had no problem expressing to her how vulnerable I am right now. She was very frank about the need for me to do something preemptive to make sure I stop my current slide before it gets alot worse. I think maybe I'm going to bag things for 5 or 6 days and go visit a friend of mine in Fla. My therapist's preference would be that I keep my appt. with my pdoc tomorrow (which I'd dearly love to skip) and then go directly to an airport and get out of here. Practicalities will intervene for at least a couple of more weeks but maybe I can pull off a change of scenery then. Somehow it doesn't seem right that I hobble along with access to very good health care, and you're out there trying to manage so much on your own. I think I need the help I'm getting now but I sure wish I could find a way to direct some of it your way.