Posted by Greg A. on August 13, 2001, at 14:19:24
In reply to Monogamy? » Greg A., posted by Kingfish on August 13, 2001, at 13:54:04
Well there are certainly some common threads between us married men and women. The desire for ‘more’. The need for understanding and communication with our spouses. My wife (Leslie) is different from me in some fundamental ways. She likes to have people around all the time. I like time on my own. If I want to be away from her, she takes it as meaning I don’t want her around when all it is, is me satisfying my requirement for space. I also read somewhere that we look for a couple of things in a partner. Our semi-conscious level looks for complements to our own personality. I looked for someone who was more outgoing and social, because I wasn’t. Leslie looked for stability I think, because her family was unstable. Unconsciously, we look for the very things we may have identified in our lives as being undesirable. We are familiar with them. Children of alcoholics marry alcoholics. Children of strict and domineering parents often find domineering and even abusive spouses. Not all the time – but enough times that I am convinced it is something that does happen.
The desire to have new relationships is common. The initial time of getting to know someone is the exciting time. Everything seems new. You ignore all the bad habits and see only the new and interesting. One thing with men – anytime we get to know someone new and female – we always try to make it a sexual thing. Do women have male friends on the same level as their regular friends? What’s the line? Women use sex to get love and men use love to get sex. Something like that.
Enough rambling for now. Perhaps before I’m too old, I’ll have a better idea of who and what I am.
poster:Greg A.
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9464.html