Posted by Marie1 on August 9, 2001, at 8:03:48
In reply to Re: spouses and alcohol, posted by Willow on August 8, 2001, at 21:27:36
Willow,
I didn't realize from your previous post that your husband drinks too much. Has this been a major problem in your marriage?
As for being selfish, by husband has always been that way - he'll do what he wants to do regardless of others. I've been told that that's a typical characteristic of children of alcoholics.
I think you and I may be getting hung up on the idea of supporting our spouse in their disease, as they did/are doing for us. But I see a big difference here: my husband doesn't seem to want to get better. I'm not going to support him in his efforts to kill himself, slowly, but steadily. You're right - there is no easy path. But it helps hashing it out with others. Take care.Marie
> Marie
> Your story sounds like mine, the only difference was that I stopped drinking after the wedding. I was a teenager and it was fun to go out drink and dance. I had a picture of what I thought life would be like. I've always been independent, so before the children I traveled a lot on my own. His drinking then didn't bother me.
>
> I've sat on the fence too long. Then there is the issue of the vows and the fact that he has helped me out with so much. Am I being selfish? After all no person is perfect. But over time it is beginning to affect his character. It is becoming more "me, me." As long as everything goes along his line of thinking all is fine. Last week he threatened to leave. I was happy, but the next day he was like nothing happened. It's starting to remind me of the abusive relationship I left as a teenager, except just verbal jabs.
>
> I guess I'm helping myself here more than you. Just looking for an easy solution when there isn't an easy street.
>
> Weeping Willow
poster:Marie1
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/9028.html