Posted by Marie1 on August 14, 2001, at 7:29:15
In reply to Patience is a virtue??, posted by Greg A. on August 13, 2001, at 18:14:45
> Staying together for the kids. I bet that’s something you swore you’d never ever do. It's different when you have them though, isn’t it? I can’t begin to imagine the unhappiness that would result from splitting up my family. Maybe that’s someone’s way of making us think twice about walking away from a marriage. After twenty or so years of life together, the status quo probably deserves some lengthy consideration before changing everything.
Well put, Greg. I don't want to come across as a martyr and I'm not one to think kids can't handle some diversity in their lives. Nor am I guilty of always putting my kids first, to the exclusion of all other considerations. But they're really so innocent in their parent's problems, and I don't think they should be vicitimized by our - dare I say - selfishness? I see the kids of my friends who are separating and divorcing and it breaks my heart how they react. Then I think, well maybe I've never been as miserable in my marriage as they are. My best friend and business partner has been in this process for the past few years. She has three little ones under the age of twelve who are confused, frightened, insecure, etc. And I think my friend has handled things well as far as trying to prepare her kids. Her separation has been fairly amicable, although her husband was against the idea at first. I've seen her utterly miserable and can't really relate to that degree of unhappiness. Yet. Maybe that day will come, but, yes, right now I'll stay together for my kids. And maybe for myself, too. We can always have hope, can't we?
Marie
> You are right. People do change and grow at different rates. However, I think we are often better at just leaving our problems and differences behind, than at trying to work them out. It requires so much less effort just to walk away. I think you (and possibly me) have a conscience that demands you make the effort and not just opt for the easy way out. That’s good, I think. I do hope that we both end up happy though.
poster:Marie1
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9530.html