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Re: day 6 wishingstar

Posted by TherapyGirl on November 6, 2006, at 17:02:40

In reply to day 6, posted by wishingstar on November 6, 2006, at 15:30:37

I'm sorry you still feel so awful, WS. I wish I knew what would help. Unfortunately, my experience with depression is that you just have to try to outlast the worst of it, and it appears to me that you are in the worst of it right now.

I do think you should share with Randy that you are feeling ignored. My memory of your first time in partial is not that the group therapy and workshops were so helpful, but that Randy himself was helpful. So if there's a way to get more one-on-one time with him, I think that would be good. When I was hospitalized (twice during my bad year), the only helpful thing they offered was recreational therapy. Now, I am not in any way a jock, but somehow heading outside the hospital and playing badminton helped me more than anything else. I told that to the rec therapist and she made sure that we got together at least once/day. Sometimes it was most of the group, sometimes it was the two of us and sometimes it was 3 or 4. And it wasn't that I was pouring my heart out to her, because I didn't. I don't know why it worked, but it did. I realize they probably don't offer rec. therapy in partial, so I'm not suggesting that. I just want you to know that sometimes there is something that will help and it's not always the obvious thing. Maybe for me it was that it gave me a break from myself and my suicidal ideation in a way talk therapy didn't.

I've also been thinking about your conversation with Ginny last week about being overly reliant on therapy. I wonder if just the mere fact that she's encouraging you to expand your support base feels like a criticism to you because it is getting filtered through the depression? Just something to think about. I think it's possible Ginny could want you to develop an outside support system AND not think you are overly reliant on therapy. Whatever you think, I think you should discuss this with her some more, along with your grief over the Anne situation. Sometime when I have the time and when I'm not afraid of boring you to tears, I'll share my T horror story, okay? Just so you know you can get through it.





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