Posted by Dory on December 23, 2007, at 17:25:17
In reply to So here's a question...., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 23:17:35
i'm not a man muffy.. but i was forced to go without sex.. i dont want to make you feel bad or anything like that, but this is honest from the other side... i felt punished and rejected. He had been abused sexually and had been in therapy several years. He and his therapist did not feel past abuse was an issue, but he would just withdraw all physical touch. It was painful for me. i felt very alone and very unattractive, unlovable.
some men withdraw sex as much as some women do and some women want sex as much as some men. There isn't any gender bias.
i have problems about sex because it was used against me... from both sides of the fence, taken and given. But i know i feel better in many ways when there is sex in my life. It is best when there is love and then the sex is meaningful. i have never wanted kids so there was no intent that way. i also have gotten emotional benefit from sex which was not tied to a relationship.
i sympathize, i empathize.. i really do. Sex is a complex thing. i suppose it's the culmination of physical affection or touch... and i can see how the psychological can override the physical drive. But for me.. even though i have been.. well.. *sigh.. on the wrong side of the power issue... the bigger issue in my life has been the lack of affection, the lack of touch. It hurts too.
poster:Dory
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802306.html