Posted by star008 on December 23, 2007, at 12:44:53
In reply to sigh..., posted by muffled on December 23, 2007, at 11:38:05
This is a tough one Muffled. the same thing happened to me when I started therapy.. i can't say I enjoyed sex with my ex.. I was never sober for it. After I started with T I found out what complying ws doing to me. Alot of it was his fault though since with him it wasn't a choice for me. He would get mad. T told me to stop having sex with him.. He said look what it is doing to you".. and yeah it screwed me up. yep,, days of feeling like sh...t. Was it fair to him to cut him out?? Well for me it was It was fair since he was a self-centered creep who couldn't see beyond himself. If he had been a different kind of man things could have been different. The feelings are hard to deal with at times but with the right partner sex can be a good thing.. I know, sounds yuck, hard to beleive.. It is different for me now.. I am not married and don't feel oligated to anyone so that probably helps. I did have a relationship a few years ago that helped me to get over the sex part.. I didn't have to dissociate anymore and never would have thought sex could be so gerat. Didn't work out for us in the end;( but it changed the way I felt about things.
Hubby needs to know at some point why things are so hard for you.. If you have the kind of relationship where you can open up.. Doesn't sound as though you do though..I tired with my ex and all he did was use it as ammunition later.. He just didn't get it.. what an ...ssIs it fair to him?? Well, I think not really if he is clueless and doesn't know why you don't want him. And guys are different.. Most of them need it way more than we do. That is just normal.
Sorry muffs that you have to go through this.. there are no easy answers.
poster:star008
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802254.html