Posted by muffled on December 23, 2007, at 11:38:05
In reply to Re: So here's a question.... » caraher, posted by 10derHeart on December 23, 2007, at 11:31:16
OK guys.
So it would seem that I oughtta work on this at some point :-(
I was reading and part of me was feeling very scared.
Kinda sad too.
I feel bad for my hubby.
I don't understand how it is that it is such a big deal.
I have never experienced this 'connection' thing w/sex.
I think its cuz I keep all at a distance anyways.
I can't even TALK about sex, cuz I can't even barely talk about ME even irl.
I a mostly mute in T STILL, after over two years, cuz I get so freaked to talk bout myownself.
I feel like I have so so FAR to go yet :-(
So B4 sex can happen w/o terror, I gonna have to be able to speak of myself w/o fear and shame. I gonna have to be less split.
My poor hubby :-(
He don't even know whats going on really. I've told him its not him, its me, but thats bout it. He knows I am in T, but not eaxctly why.
I don't even know.
I am SCARERD TOO BAD to know cuz then there's sad I think and I have to run away cuz I DON'T WANTO KNOW.
I DON"T I DON'T.
You can't trust a childs mixed up memories. I got poor memory at best.
I am getting very bothered.
I am sorry.
I thank all for your answers.
For straight up, thats SO important to me.
This is one of those times where theres water wanting to be in my eyes but I not allowed.
Damn.
M
poster:muffled
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802247.html