Posted by philyra on January 14, 2007, at 11:57:35
In reply to Re: Jealousy, Seperateness, NewYrs, Now -long***Tr » philyra, posted by ElaineM on January 13, 2007, at 16:37:39
Hi Elaine,
Nice to meet you too. I've been thinking about your message and I guess what I want to say in reply is... I was holding your story in my mind and heart, and imagining you leaving this relationship, and the sense that i have is that it would be the best thing for your T for many different reasons. Not just the possibility that he would turn to someone else for support, as it seems you imagine (ideally another T), but for many other possibilities it would open up for his process. And my sense is too that whatever way it would push him in wouldn't necessarily be immediate. It might take him a long time to get the help he needs after his relationship with you was over.
I guess I want to just gently remind you (as I gently remind myself as often as I can) that you're not responsible for his process. But I also totally get how it doesn't feel that way. I get that the connection is deep there.
I'm not sure why your story resonates with me so much, maybe it's because it reminds me of relationships I've been in, both interpersonal and therapeutic. It's a hard, sad, beautiful, painful thing to have that kind of connection with another person. I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you continue to find some support here.
take care,
philyra
poster:philyra
thread:721410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/722190.html