Posted by ElaineM on January 14, 2007, at 18:16:29
In reply to Re: To Elaine, posted by Frida on January 14, 2007, at 0:11:32
>>>>>>I know it's not the same, but it reminds me of the relationship I had with my father (he ended up abusing me for years). I know you don't see your T as abusive, but the feelings you are having, feeling trapped in a situation...the conflicting feelings, feeling like you would hurt him so much, etc...resonate with me.
I'm sorry that you can identify - it sounds like alot of people have had a similar relationship. It helps to think that someone else might "get" it, but it's sad to me too.
>>>>>What does the ladyT say about this situation? Isn't she concerned for your well-being?Actually, she called "Him" a manipulative *sshole. I've never ever heard her infuse so much personal opinion when commenting on something about my life. And I've never heard her use strong language like that (even though it's not really - for a T though, it seems so). She said that he should know better - regardless. That there has been role reversal, to say the least. She said he's sending sexualized messages, whether or not it has the "abuse" label or not. I didn't talk about it much - we spent the majority of our time talking about something else I'm dealing with. I wasn't as preoccupied with him at that time, and was more emotionally involved with a different subject... I wish I had more time with her.
In terms of everything, she said that I need to turn to my T and tell him everything and let him help. She doesn't know that the "Bad T" is also the "Good T" -- that it's the same man. She said that she'd always be there for me to report "this guy" if I'm ever ready. [She's not allowed to persue anything without me, or talk to anyone about anything to do with me -- that is, unless I let his name slip. Then, I've no say at all.]
She's concerned - she told me. For a variety of reasons. It's almost an exact year since she "lured" me in for a suicide assessment. That had to do with my inability to tolerate my physical health (T stuff didn't start till late spring). But, she was really worried even back then. She just keeps saying to keep reaching out -- but I'm tired of that. I've done that. She only knows that I'd told LadyT -- she doesn't even know of the other times I've spilled my guts. I've done all that multiple times and nothing comes of it.
She also said she'd like me to try to do something where I can be around regular people. I may take another coarse, or look into a group. It's hard to commit cause my health vacillates quickly, and dramatically, but I'll probably try.
((((Frida)))), thanks for saying all those nice things. It feels like you really do wish you could help.
blove, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:721410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/722319.html