Posted by Tamar on December 26, 2006, at 19:11:48
In reply to Re: why can't I leave therapy? » Tamar, posted by dessbee on December 26, 2006, at 13:04:32
Hello dessbee,
Those are good questions. I’ll try to answer them.
> Are you in love with your therapist?
Not at the moment. At least, I don’t think so. I used to be in love with him a couple of years ago. But I do love him, sometimes just because he’s my therapist, but also in other, more transferential ways. I’ve been having a lot of problems in my marriage that seem to be connected with my very unhealthy relationship with my father when I was a teenager, and a lot of those feelings end up transferred onto my therapist. I find it terrifying and shameful and embarrassing, and I know that talking about it would help, but it’s been very difficult. I was never able to talk to him about my feelings of being in love with him (more than a year ago) either. At the moment I don’t feel much inclination to be his partner (only occasionally); instead I usually wish he would take care of me and comfort me and give me lots of reassurance and approval. I think I want to be his cat or something. I’d say I want to be his daughter, but that doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe I want him to be my father. Or my mother. I’m quite confused.
> Are you taking any antideprissive medicine?
Yep. 40mg of Prozac every morning. Yum yum!
> What kind of therapist is he? (psychodynamic psychotherapist or cognitive behavioural therapist)
Well, here’s the thing. He usually does CBT with his current clients, but he was trained in psychodynamic therapy, and that’s what he says he’s using with me. And I’ve done CBT work with him before, and this is very different. But I think that when I head towards transferential territory he replies with more CBT-oriented responses, perhaps because that’s how he usually practices, perhaps because he’s uncomfortable with transference stuff… I dunno. And although I’ve tried to talk to him about it I haven’t had much success. I don’t think he knows what I’m talking about. Maybe I’m not being direct enough. I have trouble being direct in therapy. I unconsciously censor myself. And yet… I don’t understand why he’s not looking out for transference and recognising it when it’s obvious…
Thanks for the interesting questions!
poster:Tamar
thread:716231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/716582.html