Posted by Dinah on December 25, 2006, at 13:15:31
In reply to why can't I leave therapy?, posted by Tamar on December 24, 2006, at 21:56:50
At times that thought has occurred to me. Even when therapy is clearly not helping at the time, I find it nearly impossible to walk away.
I think... I think it can be as hard to give up on this sort of relationship as any other kind. Especially if there is intermittant positive reinforcement that keeps you motivated.
But don't we do the same sort of thing with others that we want something from that they can't or won't provide? We keep going to parents expecting that they'll suddenly be the mommy or daddy we always wanted. We stick with partners because sometimes it is good, and the rest of the time can't be that bad can it? And surely it's better than being alone.
I think it's probably hardwired into us somehow, and while that may be good for the human species in general, it sure can hurt us individually.
I think Annierose is right in that the main problem always has been his training and theoretical orientation. I doubt it's personal at all.
FWIW, if you really do think you're better off without him than with him, I've always found that I do better if I emotionally divorce before I physically do it. I can't give an exact recipe for that as it seems to be something that just happens. But I think trying to change perspective, gain distance, and notice a *lot* of flaws are the keys to emotional divorce.
It's good to see your name again. I was thinking of you the other day and wishing you were around.
poster:Dinah
thread:716231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/716313.html