Posted by B2chica on April 5, 2005, at 12:35:53
this weekend i felt like taking a handful of pills again, but this time i wasn't suicidal per se. i just had an incredible URGE to do it. i didn't btw. but now looking back, though i've never been an alcoholic it almost seems like my suicidal ideation is like an addiction. to want that one drink, that bottle of pills. i didn't care about the 'aftermath' all i could think of was that moment and what action i wanted to take.
then last night i watched a lifetime movie "odd girl out" and got really wigged out cuz she attempted overdose. and it kinda triggered me, although the urge was there it wasn't like before. but it's wierd how my thought process change regarding the idea of suicide.
sometimes it's about wanting to die, sometimes it's obsessive compulsive about the ACT of suicide, other times it's this urge to do with not really wanting or thinking about the outcome.does anyone else feel this way?
how do you view suicide/suicidal ideation?
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:480204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/480204.html