Posted by daisym on April 10, 2005, at 0:40:08
In reply to Re: Long time no see! » daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on April 9, 2005, at 15:28:57
Thanks for all the free advice. I've been reading a lot about thyroid and it is on my list to have checked. Given that I'm surrounded by diabetics, checking blood sugars should be a breeze.
I'm glad the art therapy is helping. I don't like messy play much but perhaps my youngself might. I think she might be afraid of getting into trouble if she gets dirty.
Have you been able to verbalize any of the shame? I've found that I still can't much, even if I can tell about the events. What is happening is that as these feelings and events come up and out, the adult me has to keep reworking the "why did this happen?" question. It is impossible to now know these things and still believe it was "an accident" or "an over-abundance of love" or even a compulsion that took over. So much of the young kid stuff is about invented games, which had to have pre-thought.
And I'm playing out the scenario of telling on myself over and over again with my therapist. I'm so afraid he is going to get mad, so sure that each time I tell him something he is going to see the "real" me and cut himself off from me. It's that mother thing again.
I'm glad you are posting again. My appointment with pdoc is Tuesday. I'll let you know how it goes.
poster:daisym
thread:480204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/482235.html