Posted by fallsfall on April 9, 2005, at 8:18:50
In reply to Re: talking about it » fallsfall, posted by daisym on April 9, 2005, at 1:07:51
You know, you "toughed" it out alone when you were little. How well did that work? Are you happy with the results of everything being secret back then? Do you want to repeat that now?
If your therapist is anything like me (and I really do like to (delusionally) think that he is... 8^) ) you will burn him out faster by keeping secrets than you will by telling him what is going on with you. When we don't know what is going on, we imagine things - and very (very) often, what we imagine is worse than what is real. Or we imagine 6 different possibilities because we don't know which is the real one, and we want to be "ready" for all of them. If we *know* what is true (even if it is pretty awful), at least we don't expend a whole bunch of energy on all of the things that *aren't* true.
So, do you want him to be thinking about the 5 things that aren't true for you as well as the one thing that is true, and figuring out how to help you deal with them, or do you want him to be able to concentrate on the one thing that is true and deal with that?
If we (your therapist, me, others here on Babble, your IRL friends) didn't *care* about you, we would just wait for you to decide to tell us what was going on and we wouldn't do any mental exercises in the mean time (note the dual meaning of "mental" - having to do with the brain, and mentally ill). But we *DO* care, so we *DO* think about you and "worry" about you - whether you want us to or not. And *NOT* telling us what is going on makes us work a lot harder.
So, if you don't want to burn him out - talk more, not less.
(((((Daisy)))))
P.S. I'm feeling a little better after *Talking* to you last night, but I'd still be happy to cuddle in the corner of your couch with you, or on the swing outside if it is nice weather (please?).
poster:fallsfall
thread:480204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/481941.html