Posted by dj on July 25, 2000, at 2:12:29
In reply to When it is deliberate » dj, posted by Cass on July 25, 2000, at 1:26:25
> > "Your parents fuck you up,
> > They don't mean to but they do...
>
> My mother really did mean to fuck us up.. because it is so socially unacceptable to say that a parent's abuse was malicious and deliberate. There is evil in the world, >>unfortunately. I have seen too much of it.Cass, I know that there are psycho and socio-paths out there and some of them unfortunately are parents. And unfortunately for you, your mother was one, just as the mother of an ex-girlfriend of mine was...
Regardless, there was some twisted logic to such people's ways of dealing with their offspring and others. That's not to condone what they said or did but just to emphasize, as you well know, that that is the way it was and that is the way they operated and in their twisted psyches they may have been doing what they thought or knew best because perhaps they were so wrapped up in their own patterns of pain and abuse, they were just repeating them...
I don't know that it was so, this is just conjecture on my behalf based on what I've read and observed here and elsewhere...
Regardless, they did what they did and what happened to you, my ex-girlfriend and others did happen. As my ex used to say: "What is, is." And you cannot change that reality.
Some say that it is never too late to have a happy childhood. Meaning perhaps, that though you can't change what happened then, you can change what is happening here and now. That would seem to be the healthiest place to focus - on discovering ways to enjoy yourself here and now, despite your past. Living well is the best revenge!!
Be good to you, because if you are not it will be that much easier for others not to be as well. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." So don't give it to them or yourself. Give your self the best you are capable of on a day to day, moment to moment basis and you may find that you are having a happy second childhood, and enjoying it much more this time around...
Just some random ponderances...
Namaste!
dj
poster:dj
thread:41212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41358.html