Posted by shellie on July 23, 2000, at 0:43:43
In reply to Rambling, unhappy post: Feeling awful, posted by Cass on July 22, 2000, at 22:58:05
Cass, sorry you are feeling so bad. Once, about eight years ago, I went for a consultation with a psychiatrist who specializes in trauma and dissociative disorder. She asked me if I had grieved about what had happened to me, and that nobody had protected me. I was blank--I wasn't even sure what she meant. She said part of working through the trauma was to let myself be sad and angry about what had happened. It is only recently that I have been able to feel some sadness. I am not yet able to feel anger.
So, maybe your anger is part of your recovery process and even though it feels horrible, maybe it is necessary to moving on. As far as forgiving, first of all this may not be the right time--maybe you need to still be angry. Second, I think forgiveness is mostly really good, but there are some viciousness and cruel acts that do not call for forgiveness.
Probably, eventually when you have experienced enough of the anger, you may need to work on deintensifying (?) it, so that it does not pull you down. And I think it is possible to do this without forgiveness. For what it's worth, Shellie