Posted by Janice on July 23, 2000, at 0:02:28
In reply to Rambling, unhappy post: Feeling awful, posted by Cass on July 22, 2000, at 22:58:05
hi Cass,
sorry to hear you feel bad.
Cass perhaps you are simply more capable of seeing more than most people see, feeling more than most people feel, and you are just more aware of life than the people around you are. These are some the gifts of being very sensitive. And as we all know, one of the downside to all this sensitivity is being prone to depression.
I think you're right about forgiveness, it can't be forced. Nor should it be. I couldn't forgive my father for what he did until after he died. After he died, it was easy. While he was alive, I often felt hatred for him. My mother, she was worse than my father, and I have no plans to forgive her while she is living. Psychologically I have come to terms with both my parents. Superficially things look good.
My only plans are to forgive myself for not forgiving her. Cass, I don't know why people are so intense about forgiving "for my own sake" either. It always sounded ridiculous to me. Sometimes I think it is simply a cliche that they are repeating. As if this process could be forced or hurried or even encouraged - after the scars some people have inflicted on others. I would concentrate on forgiving yourself for being a human being that was badly hurt and needs more time to heal. You have all the time in your life to forgive because a relationship doesn't end when someone dies…it just changes.
Good luck Cass,
let me know how you're doing, Janice
poster:Janice
thread:41212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41217.html