Posted by Cass on July 25, 2000, at 1:26:25
In reply to Janice's point.., posted by dj on July 24, 2000, at 23:29:17
> "Your parents fuck you up,
> They don't mean to but they do...
My mother really did mean to fuck us up. She was emotionally sadistic. She was trying to destroy our spirits. She was pathologically hostile toward any hint of psychological vitality or spiritedness. She would immediately start to assault my character and sensibilities when I showed any spiritedness. (And I'm not talking about obnoxious behavior, just healthy curiosity or spontaneity. I was not a hyperactive child, and I was really quite manageable. All of my teacher's saw that, but I later found out that she told some of them that I was not the same child at home, that I was a monster.) She was envious of any happiness that came our way and tried to destroy it. She often slandered us behind our backs to justify her hatred towards us (especially me, since I never gave up my spirit). She just did not have it in her heart to allow us to be happy since she was unhappy. And she had far too much pride to admit that there was something wrong with her. Something had to be wrong with US. She was perfect. If it wasn't all so deliberate, it would be much easier to accept. I do believe that MANY parents do the best they can, but the idea that ALL parents do the best they can is a myth. People like to placate others by saying that, but that kind of generalization makes it all the harder for some abuse victims to be believed and to get support. It makes us feel like we have to lie in order to get support because it is so socially unacceptable to say that a parent's abuse was malicious and deliberate. There is evil in the world, unfortunately. I have seen too much of it.