Posted by Cass on July 25, 2000, at 16:19:02
In reply to Re: When it is deliberate » Cass, posted by danf on July 25, 2000, at 9:41:09
> You need to find a way to deal with & accept them as they are /were.... good or bad. harboring hate only burns you.
>
> you can not deal with the depression & anxiety until you forgive.
>I try to deal with problems on a truthful, genuine level. I cannot pretend to forget 18 years of abuse overnight. I refuse to go into denial about what happened or pretend that I understand and forgive. I do not accept their behavior, if I did I would be just as guilty as they are. IMO, accepting deplorable actions is deplorable. I think people who believe that their abuser's behavior was acceptable end up repeating the same behavior. Afterall, if the behavior was acceptable, why should they not behave the same way? One should always remember the crime to prevent it from happening again to others. This is why holocause survivors speak out about their experiences. They know that people should never forget. Apathy is lethal. People are very disrespectful toward certain types of victims, child abuse victims being one. I have heard holocaust survivors speak, and I have never heard anyone suggest that they should, "Just get over it." It's true that I have moments of anger that I need to deal with somehow, but I will never believe that abusive behavior is acceptable.
poster:Cass
thread:41212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41396.html