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Re: Partlycloudy

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2018, at 20:11:21

In reply to Re: Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2018, at 19:55:59

i hope that didn't hurt. i did mean to nudge. but not to hurt. i like you, too much. you have been here for me. i hope there have been times when i have been here for you.

and i don't mean to invest in me. though that will, of course, be my next answer, if i'm asked in interview or what not.

i don't suppose i can apply for a $5,000 scholarship and write that what i would do with the money is i would invite engineering students to apply for a $2,500 scholarship which would be granted to the student with the best idea on how to invest that money.

i don't think that is in the spirit of keeping ones head down.

though, i don't suppose it would take long. watching you. watching me. watching you.

but that's right... all these people who have decided to follow the money... follow the money... keep the eyes on the money... learn about the money... learn about how you get money. learn about the things the government HAS TO spend money on and write up the proposal of how you can provide precisely that while feeling secure in your ability to extort a reasonable sum out of them at the end of the day if they get too cocky in their self-congraduation at getting such a great deal for themselves that they are so clever!


or, whatever. that's a way to live, i guess. how to, uh, be a provider, or something.


go back to working on the thing people think is sh*t. not because they bothered to read it, but because they get a kick out of believing it to be so.

the dhbs... everyone says it's not about the money. it's about the lack of training. it's about being expected to do everything with no supervision and with no senior people training you to do things better. it's about running the show while there's nobody home... it's about living with the ensuring mistakes. it's about the hours you gotta work... it's about no doctors lounge (that would be elitist) so no place you can put yourself away from demanding staff. it's about simultaneously being required to research and study and pass exams and apply to other jobs and private colleges and it's about persisting in all of that. it's about not being taken for too much of a fool in applying for things that never were... it's mostly about the psychological thing of people being motivated to have people believe that it's about things that it's not about. eg. its about being born rich or it's about having parents who are doctors or it's about having parents who are surgeons specifically or it's about being whatever colour you are not or its about... and it's about persisting in the face of all of that.. because.. what's the alternative? give up then. go away. you never woulda made it anyway.

but then it's about these awful people who... are incompetent. being paid to do all these things they're inept at. to you.

it's about getting out of your head and doing something. something not in your head round and round in circles. i mean, hey, they pay some people to do it. let them do it, then.




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