Posted by Angel Girl on June 25, 2004, at 14:15:13
In reply to Re: Crying and nobody cares anymore » Angel Girl, posted by Emme on June 25, 2004, at 9:59:10
> Oh rats! I just wrote you a longish message and lost it! Well, the main points were: I'm so sorry you feel miserable; I too hate the changes depression causes in use and understand the feeling that you're not going to feel happy again; that you're not alone - depression makes us feel so isolated and I hope we make you feel a little less alone; is there any way we can help you figure out how to respond to your friend; I hope your SJS is improving and good luck finding new therapist.
>
> Emme
Hi EmmeI can't count how many times I have written a long post and forgot to confirm it so therefore I lost it. So discouraging.
Update on my *friend*. I e-mailed her again and I told her I wanted to get our friendship back the way it was in the very beginning and that I missed what we had. She replied saying that she wanted that too.
Part of me is very happy for that and the other part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop for the next time I screw up, which will be inevitable.
Sometimes, I think it is best to end my *friendship* with her but I just can't let go. I have a MAJOR problem of letting go of people. Abandonment is a HUGE problem for me. I can't handle people walking away and it has happened more times than I care to remember.
We once had a really wonderful friendship but I think it is at the point now where it is becoming toxic for me but I desperately want what it used to be. The only thing is, even though she said the same thing, I don't really thing it ever will be. Too much has happened.
Thanks for the good luck wishes in finding a new T. I will certainly need it. My last one was HORRIBLE. She belittled me at every turn. I couldn't take it any longer so I ended up leaving her. No therapy was better than toxic therapy that wasn't helping me anyway.
I'm just so tired of this merry-go-round of life.
I think I'll go get one of my furbabies and take a nap and cuddle him. He'll love it and so will I.
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:360012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/360338.html