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Re: Crying and nobody cares anymore » JohnDoenut

Posted by Angel Girl on June 25, 2004, at 1:19:06

In reply to Re: Crying and nobody cares anymore, posted by JohnDoenut on June 25, 2004, at 0:43:44

> Im so sorry you feel this way and this happens. I read what people respond and wow they say such wonderful and wise things that Im not sure what I can say that they did not. Clearly other people here have experienced similer things and have found ways to cope and live through it. Im so glad you have those cats to keep you going. I have two cats too!!! :)
>
> I think all people, even those not fettered by mental illness, are not perfect, they are works in progress. Other people are consumed by their own issues and problems that I think often it makes it hard for them to accept or understand what other people are going through especially if they have no experience of it. The thing about people who have a lot of pain and hurtful life experiences, is that it makes them more empathic to others who go through the same or similer thing. Perhaps these are the sorts of people you should seek out in real life to find friendship and understanding. And like with all people sometimes it may work and sometimes it will not.
>
>


Joe

I came to the realization quite some time ago that I could only manage relationships with others who suffered from some sort of mental illness because there is that bond and understanding of depth of feelings that the other is going through. I strongly feel that unless you have been through any of this hell, it is impossible to truly understand what it is like. Others can *think* they understand but they can't even come close.

I should preface this by saying I have *NO* IRL friends, only those on the net. When I came to the above realization, I decided to seek out places on the net where I could find people like me, hence my discovery of Dr Bob's boards. Finally I felt like I belonged somewhere because the *normal* world seems so foreign to me. Here I found people who suffer the same pain and heartache as I do. Maybe their circumstances are different but their feelings are the same.

I met a bunch of girls from these boards and we formed our own little e-mail support group outside of the boards and recently I discovered that I can't even maintain those relationships.

So, where does that leave me? I can't get along with *normal* people and I can't get along with the mentally ill *IF* I form closer friendships with them.

I'm forced to keep myself at arm's length from all people. I have no place in this world. Nobody tolerates my being BP and all that goes along with it for any length of time.

As I said, the *only* thing that keeps me going is the unconditional love that I receive from my two cats and I give to them in return. Without them, I would've left this world about 2 years ago. They need me and I need them.

Why can't the rest of the world give others unconditional love?

I guess I only belong in the cat world. They love me for who I am no matter what that is and no matter what mood I'm in.

Too bad people can't be as gracious as cats are.

AG


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poster:Angel Girl thread:360012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/360078.html