Posted by Angel Girl on June 26, 2004, at 16:43:30
In reply to Re: Crying and nobody cares anymore » Angel Girl, posted by AuntieMel on June 25, 2004, at 15:53:29
> We care.
>
> Cats are very, very smart critters, and wonderful judges of character. They have the capability of seeing through the illness and only seeing the wonderful person you are.
>
> Let that give you strength for now. One day when the right combination of meds and therapy is found it will be easy for people to see that too.
>
> I'm mostly away from computers over the weekends these days, but I'll check in to see how you are doing.
Auntie MelThat's awfully sweet of you to want to check on me on the weekend. I'm ok, really I am. Just a little worse for wear.
I guess I held so much promise and optimism for the Lamictal to be *the* right one for me and when it failed to be so, it was just a *little* discouraging.
I wasn't really sure if it was ever working while I was on it since I was still more depressed than I thought I should be but now since coming off of it, in hindsight, I guess it was helping because now I'm coming unglued. Maybe with a stronger dosage it would've just been what I needed but that dang SJS got in the way of that and put a damper on things.
Now, it's back to square one playing med roulette. I feel like you might just as well put the names of all the potential meds I could try on a dart board. Throw a dart and whichever one it hits or is closest to, we'll go for that.
I'll never get back to work at this rate. Sometimes I wonder if I'll even have a job to go back to or if they'll let me go as soon as I return. Afterall, they've certainly managed without me now for 3 years, so why would they all of a sudden need me. <sigh>
But there's no reason to worry about me. I'm just very discouraged that the high optimism that I held for Lamictal failed to uphold and that the friendship I have with the person that I thought I was closest to, that is NIRL, is dying at a rapid pace and there is nothing I can do to stop it. And without the Lamictal in my system, I'm becoming more and more confrontational with people, something I would never do before. Other than that, I'm *normal*. haha
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:360012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040626/msgs/360721.html