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Re: spouses and alcohol

Posted by Willow on August 8, 2001, at 21:27:36

In reply to Re: spouses and alcohol » Greg A., posted by Marie1 on August 8, 2001, at 18:23:55

>Recently, I realized it was no longer fun. I don't know why it changed - (depression?); maybe it didn't, but my perception did. As I said in my earlier post, it took 18 mnths. of therapy to finally see things for what they are. My husband is still in denial - he may have more of a physiological addiction than I do. His mother was an alcoholic - I've witnessed her drinking straight from the bottle in the morning! She has since died from the disease, but she was definitely a hard core drinker. My in-laws marriage was a catastrophic sham, and in my darkest moments I'm afraid my husband will turn out to be like his mother, and I'll have to take care of him. I'm simply not willing to do that. I know we said "til death do us part...," and he's really been supportive of me through my depression, but I really don't want to live with an alcoholic.
> Anyway, maybe alcohol played a part in my loss of feeling for my husband;

Marie
Your story sounds like mine, the only difference was that I stopped drinking after the wedding. I was a teenager and it was fun to go out drink and dance. I had a picture of what I thought life would be like. I've always been independent, so before the children I traveled a lot on my own. His drinking then didn't bother me.

I've sat on the fence too long. Then there is the issue of the vows and the fact that he has helped me out with so much. Am I being selfish? After all no person is perfect. But over time it is beginning to affect his character. It is becoming more "me, me." As long as everything goes along his line of thinking all is fine. Last week he threatened to leave. I was happy, but the next day he was like nothing happened. It's starting to remind me of the abusive relationship I left as a teenager, except just verbal jabs.

I guess I'm helping myself here more than you. Just looking for an easy solution when there isn't an easy street.

Weeping Willow


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