Posted by rskontos on January 25, 2008, at 16:12:05
In reply to Re: So he asked........... TRIGGERS VERY LONG, posted by DAisym on January 25, 2008, at 15:32:30
But that is soooooooooo hard DAisym, I will try but I honestly don't know how. Yeah I think you are right that i dont want to go there and see what exactly is there. And that is why I am mad. He did not mean anything by what he said I am sure of it but I just got so upset. It is painful and sensitive and private and personal. Alot of p words. So much hurt is store there. But he had this puzzled look when I said that wasn't me...that accomplished, busy, I guess talented person, was covering up so much heartache, aching to be loved and no way did I let guys come home. I didn't even really date in high school. I closed myself off. They tried I guess. I mean they did. I just looked blankly at them and that is a great tool to shut them down. Because no way I was going to be like my mom. but i shut down totally. I also had no father to show me how a dad is suppose to show you how your first important relationship is suppose to be with a man. So I didn't know how to relate to my mom or dad. Wow no wonder I am messed. It is any wonder I have two great children. One is 19 at college doing great and the other is 15 boy doing great. Both are bright and outgoing and friendly. But they are real. Not faking it like I was. I hope I didnt dissociate too much with them. I did tell them I love them and I hugged them alot and kiss them alot and show them love. Unlike what I got. So I broke the cycle at least. rsk
But thanks so much DAisym, this helps.
poster:rskontos
thread:808852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/808900.html