Posted by sunnydays on February 26, 2007, at 20:44:35
In reply to Re: ^^^please respond to the above, somebody^^^^, posted by wishingstar on February 26, 2007, at 18:49:39
> Your experience today reminded me of what happened with me a few weeks ago with my T. I went in feeling pretty bad and really, really needing her to be warm and gentle and caring, as she usually is. Instead, she pushed pretty hard on a certain topic and I left feeling unheard and uncared for. Similar to how you're feeling, I think. We talked about it later though, and I'll tell you what she said, because I think it might be similar to whats happening with your T too. She said that she realized she'd started following her own agenda rather than mine that session and knew she was pushing, but she knew how badly I was hurting and she just felt like she had to do SOMETHING to fix it. She said she knew that was more her issue than mine, but she said she just hates it and she worries about me when I'm feeling that bad, and so she let her "fix it" mentality take over. Instead of fixing it though it just made me defend myself, pull away, and feel hurt.
>***** Yeah, I think he might have been trying to figure out another way to go about adressing some issues. And he thought that maybe talking softly let me connect to the little girl part too much. He was trying to get me to stay an adult.
> I doubt your T changed his voice on purpose. I think he is probably genuinely worried and wants to help you, and just went about it in the wrong way. I imagine its difficult to be a T and sit back and watch week after week as people feel so terrible, so occasionally maybe they just forget that slow is better.
**** Well, he did comment on it, so I feel like he could have changed his voice to being soft again if he wanted to. Because he said the word soft in that soft voice. But yeah, even though I was crying and he knew I thought he was mad at me, I don't think he quite realized how badly it was affecting me because I wasn't able to say much.
>
> I dont think it means he doesnt care about you. But I do understand how it can feel scary and as if thats whats happening. If you can, try to bring it up at your next session. He may not even realize how he came off, but I think its important for him to know. Try and comfort yourself a little this evening. You havent lost him.
***** Yeah, I'm sure it will come up, since I see him Wednesday. And I emailed him already, so it's in there too.sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:736247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/736598.html