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Re: update » Dinah

Posted by sunnydays on February 26, 2007, at 20:50:22

In reply to Re: update » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2007, at 19:40:41

> I've had the same sort of experience. And oddly enough it was often after a therapy break. I'd accuse him of going to a seminar during his vacation and learning some new thing that he thought would help me but that WAS NOT HELPING.

**** Yeah. His was totally a vacation, so I'm pretty sure that didn't happen, but I see your point.

>
> I think *maybe* that they come off the break with a new resolve to help, or something like that. Didn't your therapist just have a vacation?

**** Yeah, but I've already seen him once (last Friday), so it wasn't the first session back. It's possible he was trying a new angle since we just started going to twice a week.

>
> Although the same sort of thing happened just recently, when he was really concerned about me and was pushing me to do what he thought was best, or was angry with me for doing something he didn't think was good for me. So maybe he has some special reason to feel concerned?

**** I'm not sure. I'm feeling pretty bad, but it comes and goes and has been for a while now. I don't think anything in particular, but maybe he has a reason I can't think of.

>
> I think that I react badly to that sort of thing. I'm not sure if that hurts me therapeutically, but I know he says I "bite", and to some extent he doesn't push me as much as he would if I didn't get angry. Sometimes maybe it would be good for me to be pushed more.

**** I don't get angry too much. He actually told me today, "It'd be ok if you got pissed off at me. It'd even be ok if you threw the Kleenex box at me. And there's not many people I'd say that to, but you'd be perfectly justified in throwing it at me." So I'm not quite sure what that was about. Maybe he realized he was pushing me really hard????


>
> But still, it hurts going in expecting one thing and getting another. And it's worse because therapy is so one sided that we don't always know *why*.

**** Exactly. My email was full of, Why did you have to do that?


>
> It doesn't mean that he cares about you any less. Just that for some reason, he's expressing that caring differently.

**** Yeah. It's just so hard to see it as caring.

>
> (I'm not sure of the therapeutic value of this, but I'm hoping that he'll go back to "normal" soon so that you'll have the therapist you expect.)
>

***** Me too, although I'm kind of afraid I won't be able to trust that he means it for a while. This really shook me.

> And as always, it's good to talk about it with him, and you might gain an insight into what he's thinking.

**** Of course, of course. :) Thanks Dinah.

sunnydays


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poster:sunnydays thread:736247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/736600.html