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Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears Phillipa

Posted by kerria on October 23, 2006, at 22:08:41

In reply to Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears, posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2006, at 19:51:22


i don't know how i work- it's like going into a black hole- i don't remember almost anything about it - mostly just going through the door- or walking up to the garage and feeling stronger. The work part comes and later we come home.
i was so late for work- and after work i didn't get home in time to go to the drs appt. we were afraid to go anyways.

Work feels like the strongest part but i can't feel like her until i get there:(

my T called today - he left a message to schedule appt when it would be good for both of us. i never care when it is as much as all that- i still can't understand why he was so ANGRY with me when i needed to talk to him, how he said "Go to the er then- so mean and angry- tears. i don't know how to get a new T or talk to my T anymore:( it's too hard- i can't talk to anyone who's angry like that and i need a T very badly that will be patient enough to be there the few times a year that i call.

my T doesn't care about me.

T talks to the work part- it feels good to be her- i wouldn't want to ever leave work- it's my strongestr part. i can't make her come- we have to be at work or at t and T talks to her and i become her. It's so weird like that - i'm so weird- so separated:(

i wish i had a T that cared about me.

Thank you Phillipa for listening. i feel so alone and i don't think i will ever find a T or that i will ever get better- more aaaable to function like a big person.




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