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Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » kerria

Posted by muffled on October 21, 2006, at 2:56:02

In reply to Now T emailed with his address. tears, posted by kerria on October 20, 2006, at 7:46:32

> How can he be so cruel- i'm so afraid to ever see him again.

***Parts of you are afraid, other parts are not...

> > i feel like the last six years of t with him are a waste- i'm so apart- so hurt.

**My guess is that its a process to get to know the parts.
I am not so separateted, but it was very confusing(still is really)to figger WHAT was comming from WHO, or WHY, or WHERE. It gets all confusion. And then there's upset and I don't know WHY?
Do you have ANY sense of who there is? Of ANYone inside?

> > My h is angry that he gives me the car- why? i feel so abandoned. tears. My T showed his real feelings- he doesn't care about me- tears. How can i go on? He knows how much it upset me- why would he ddo that to me? Why couldn't he talk softly because i'm having such a hard time?
> >
> > How do you all find Ts who care about you?

***Yeah, my T cares as far as I know. A part of my T's training is to show unconditional positive regard. So I not sure if she cares cuz she 'supposed' to seem to, or if she REALLY does.
And sometimes my T really has pissed me off. But I have found its worked for us, for me to be able to say that I mad at her, rather than having it mess up our work together. It seems silly, but talking about it helps, even if its not neccessarily resolved to my satisfaction.

> > i don't know what to do - i can't believe it. i heard him and i know he doesn't care about me. He cares about his schedule andd i'm too much trouble to be worth it. tears.

**Can you at least give him a chance to explain himself? Have you told your T clearly bout how you've felt about this whole thing? Maybe what w/switching and upsets, you haven't been that clear?
Could you print out these posts and take them in, they are pretty clear, and could give you guys something concrete to work with?
Sometimes I have SO misjudged my T........
> >
> Today T emailed back- with his address and email of the place he works. tears. How can i make an appt- why is he not saying he's sorry for bing in a rage at me and swearing over scheduling? i called him in crisis and he was so angry- it hurts so much. i need him so much to know what i'm doing- i don't have communication with parts.

***Why did he do that? Send you his work e-mail? Is he trying to find options for you to communicate with him? Thats seems to be a GOOD thing? Mebbe he's trying. He's a T, but he's a human being too....
> Why is he being so impersonal and ignoring what i said- how upset i am that he was in a terrible rageee when i called him in crisis? Why isn't he sorry that he treated me like that?

****I don't know why he is being the way he is. But if it were me I'd just ask him flat out WHY?
> tears. What can i do now?

***Don't give up. You've made it this far. Have some faith in all of you. Faith in the parts that got you this far.
I would ask my T some hard questions....I would e-mail them to him and expect him to discuss the e-mail in my next session.
> Who can help me. tears i'm so upset. i can't believe my T is doing this to me TEARS

***Kerria can help Kerria. T can proly help Kerria, my Higher Power(God) has helped me, mebbe He can help Kerria too?
Take care Kerria,
Remember, it takes a smart person to have parts. Its a very clever coping mechanism. So that cleverness will help you sort it out too, now that its (thankfully) no longer needed.




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