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Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » muffled

Posted by kerria on October 23, 2006, at 8:50:32

In reply to Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » kerria, posted by muffled on October 22, 2006, at 22:47:05

Thank you Muffled for taking the time to understand . It's too hard for me to know parts- differentiating them - telling one from another- is too upsetting for me. i'm not ready to see the differences yet in the part who wrote to Dinah and whoever this is.

i'm sorry. i try to just live. That's all. It doesn't feel safe to find out when i switch when writing here.

Someone did that to me at another forum- they actually looked up my name and listed all the things that parts said. She wrote, "How come you said this here- and then said this here, "etc etc- she had this huge post and i had to look at my writing. She had DID also and i wonder why. It was so upsetting to read. i know that you don't mean to hurt me, it's ok.
Some people with DID are ok i guess with seeing what their parts write but it's too hard for me still. i wish that i can find a T who can help me.

teras. i'm so afraid that i'll have to live in this torture forever- that no one will be able to help me. i hate that i'm so much a mess. eeverything is so hard to do. my relationships are all a mess irl. i can't find a T who can help and the T who knows me doesn't want me as a client- he still hasn't called me back. i feel so upset that i have to have all these hard things happen- the surgery- decide which to get- it seems like choosing the torture i want :(

so upset- the appt with dr is today and i'm a mess.

my h has been away- visiting his family in another state. i'm afraid to leave the house but i have to go to work soon.






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