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Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » kerria

Posted by muffled on October 23, 2006, at 9:48:09

In reply to Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » muffled, posted by kerria on October 23, 2006, at 8:50:32

> Some people with DID are ok i guess with seeing what their parts write but it's too hard for me still. i wish that i can find a T who can help me.

***Its ok Kerria. I can understand that you would need to have a T you can feel safe with to do this.
> teras. i'm so afraid that i'll have to live in this torture forever- that no one will be able to help me. i hate that i'm so much a mess. eeverything is so hard to do. my relationships are all a mess irl. i can't find a T who can help and the T who knows me doesn't want me as a client- he still hasn't called me back. i feel so upset that i have to have all these hard things happen- the surgery- decide which to get- it seems like choosing the torture i want :(

***:-( Sorry its so hard for you right now :-(
But I don't beleive this torture is forever. I beleive you will have some healing. You just need to have a T you can feel safe and trusting with to do this. I can see as how your younger parts would not wanto work with a T that comes acreoss as uncaring.
> so upset- the appt with dr is today and i'm a mess.

***Try and get a happy thot to cling to? A safe place in your mind you can goto. I have a cave that is safe. I also have a mossy fun forest area for a certain younger part to play in. They can goto those places. They are safe places. Noone can hurt them there.
> my h has been away- visiting his family in another state. i'm afraid to leave the house but i have to go to work soon.

***Kerria, I think its amazing how you are able to work as much as you do. Its no doubt a necessity, but give yourself some credit. You have strength.
Just keep going.
My thots are with you.
All I can suggest really is try visualizations(imaginining yourself in a safe place)(or imagininng that someone safe is with you-how bout some babblers holding your hand?)
Take special care,
You can do this.
Could you phone T for referral? Mebbe to female T?
((((((Kerria)))))-if you want hugs that is.




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