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Re: Now T emailed with his address. tears » kerria

Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2006, at 9:50:37

In reply to Now T emailed with his address. tears, posted by kerria on October 20, 2006, at 7:46:32

From what I can gather, it seems probably that he's angry with your husband perhaps? Or the situation?

I find that my therapist gets cooler and cooler as I get more and more emotional. He might well feel sorry or embarassed that he behaved so unprofessionally. But depending on who he is, he might not express that regret in a way that is really soothing. Perhaps, to him, sending you the email and the address *was* his idea of an olive branch.

Kerria, I remember in the past that you were in a pretty bad state when you tried to terminate. That you had difficulty finding a therapist who suited you? You seemed so distressed at losing your imperfect therapist that I hesitate to suggest that you look for a warmer or more caring therapist. Or at least I would hesitate to suggest that you terminate with this one before you look around and find a warmer or more caring therapist. There's nothing wrong with looking around, but therapists are like jobs. It might be best to have another one, before you leave this one.

I do understand. My therapist is also imperfect. Sometimes I long to find a therapist like Daisy's or Annierose's or Pfinstegg's. But I'm attached to this one. He fills a need that no one else seems able to fill. Just as it sounds as if you need your therapist.

So, pragmatically, I would say to make the appointment, keep in mind that your therapist is who he is, measure what he provides as well as what he sadly is unable to provide, and if you wish, call around to look for someone who can provide more of what you need.

If that makes sense?

I'm not saying what he did was ok. What he did was not ok. It was unprofessional. I don't know what stressors he was under, but *nothing* you did was responsible for his actions. His job involves being able to be professional even when he doesn't feel professional.

But my therapist has acted unprofessionally at times. He has yelled at me. He's told me that at that moment, I was too much for him. He's never cursed at me.

I hope your therapist gets some professional help for the stress he's under, so that he can be a better therapist to you if you decide to stay with him.




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