Posted by ElaineM on July 28, 2006, at 9:46:59
In reply to Re: violence, affection **triggers? » ElaineM, posted by llrrrpp on July 27, 2006, at 17:23:34
>>>>Perhaps your life is a gift to others, and you can spend your life exploring your opportunities, rather than wondering why you even exist.
Thanks LL, I usually don't think about my other sisters anymore (moreso when I was younger), I was just trying to answer Tamar's question. I try not to think about if I should be here or not, especially since the ED. I try and only go one day at a time, and forget the past, as well as the future. Sometimes it is too much to consider a whole long line of tomorrows -- when even one day feels like too much, a bunch makes me give up right away. (You always find such a nice way to spin everything though.)
I miss my T so much. It'll be three days today. I never go more than that without him. And I'm not used to not having him talk to or email me a few times throughout the day. It used to help break up the hours so much. What do people do to make a day move faster? All I've been doing is researching something he told me last session, and that he was having problems with. I feel like I'll have a whole case study prepared by the time he is back. I want to help him -- maybe I just want a destraction. I want him to never feel like crying. All of those, I guess.
I'm supposed to spend some time writing about what I think of our relationship. It was one of his requests before he left. I have such a hard time speaking in person, and he does it so freely, so he says that it is hard to know what I feel for him. I'm just finding it really hard to do. I ramble on and on here, but when I try and think of writing about him, for him, my mind goes blank -- as though he were still here looking back at me.
What am going to do with all these days! It's terrible.
poster:ElaineM
thread:669755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/671382.html