Posted by fallsfall on October 21, 2005, at 7:04:38
In reply to Re: Maybe for another perspective? » Racer, posted by Annierose on October 20, 2005, at 22:19:36
>Let him know that what he said wasn't nice (see my reply to Dinah -- last paragraph). This is what started the terrible 3 miserable sessions in a row.
>My T reacted to a situation where I felt strong. She said she didn't realize that I normally just suck in all the barbs and insults they lash my way.
>I guess I feel she doesn't understand the dynamic I have painfully described to her over the last 20 months, plus previous 5 years. It's like, "Oh your father is so successful, he must be a decent person. Maybe it's YOU that has the problem." Now, of course this isn't what she said, or intended, but that is what I heard.
>More than anything, I want her on my side.
>What my T missed (and I don't know how she missed it) is that I'm a sponge for all my family's problems.
Annierose,
Perhaps you are angry that your therapist hasn't understood this part of the dynamic with your family.
You think that you have explained this all before, and you don't see how she could have missed it (was she not paying attention? did she not believe you? how much of her previous advice and comments were based on this misunderstanding? how can you trust what she says if she misses something "big" like this?).
I think I'm projecting a bit. My therapist is not understanding something basic and important (and we have to talk about it today since I avoided it all session yesterday until the last 5 minutes - a little passive aggression? Tell him about it when he can't do anything about it because I have to leave?).
Shall we meet for lunch? What should we order?
(((Annierose)))
These issues are so hard, but they do pay off in a big way. Can you try to make the two of you a team who goes after this problem together? It is so hard when the person who should be helping us is the person who is causing the problem. Sometimes I can separate him into two people and talk to the therapist about the "person" who is causing me grief.
poster:fallsfall
thread:569404
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569732.html