Posted by Poet on September 21, 2005, at 18:51:54
In reply to S.ideation ***strong trigger***, posted by B2chica on September 21, 2005, at 10:22:03
Hi B2chica,
No answer, just understanding. Yes. No. Maybe. I woke up yelling that (husband heard me) after a dream where I was dying. When I tell my T that I should just do it, she says *yes, no, maybe.*
I think it's the damn maybe that I am afraid of. Not death itself, just the fear that no matter what I do I will fail.
I wish I could tell you that everything will be better, but I can't. I think that you are tired of feeling this way is something good. You want to do something, but are afraid no matter what you do it will be wrong. I get that completely. Yes. No. Maybe. Sigh.
Talking to pdoc is a start. New meds adds another baby step. I am terrified of being hospitalized, so I can't say go inpatient without being a complete hypocrite.
Safe cyber hugs.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:557639
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/557815.html